[. homeless .]

aiii... i totally lost the continuity to this blog by not updating in july =sorry to disappoint u guys who check... my bad!
aiii... also lost my chatterbox... uuhhh.. i'll get it back..... later....

there are many different things i can randomly ramble about... but since this have been lurking in my head for the past few weeks... might as well blog it out

for a majority of my summer... my family have been doing quite a few major renovations in the house including my new room... we didn't renovate the entire house, but changing more than one room is major enough for me...

soo... how is the title "homeless" related to my house renovation?
ironically, i felt like a homeless person INSIDE my own house
how is that possible? is it even possible??

to some ppl, homelessness is defined as...
ppl who
- live on the street
- stay in emergency shelters; and
- spend more of their income on rent or live in overcrowded conditions, and are at serious risk of becoming homeless
(layton, 26)

to other ppl...
homelessness involves more than simply the presence or absence of shelter. The search for the nature and scale of homelessness in Canada rests on the definitional problems. Is homelessness poverty? or employment?... Is it an issue of discrimination? or of location? of education? Or is it primarily an issue of measurement? Varied evidence increasingly points to the answer: It is all of these factors and more; no single causal factor can be used to define homelessness exclusively or successfully.
(layton, 32)

i've found a statement which explain how i felt myself being homeless at home..

"Homelessness is not simply the lack of stable shelters; it is a life in disarray. The homeless person's existence is a public existence - there is no privacy." - Alternative Housing Subcommittee for the City of Toronto as far back as 1985
(layton, 33)

key words... a life in disarray... no privacy...
yup, can relate

i certainly felt my life was in disarry and i didn't have much privacy for the past month or even more
- things in my past study room were moved out of the study room and placed in different parts of the house such as the washroom, family room and the basement
- things in my past bedroom were also relocated into other rooms in my house
(what bugged me the most was that i didn't know where half of my things were because they were moved without my consent and me being there!... and some things i needed more urgent than others ... and not knowing where to get my personal belongings was frustrating)

more over
- i didn't have my "own room" to rest during the night
during the renovation of my room... i pulled out an old mattress and slept on the floor of my sis' room. the pillow i slept on wasn't my own personal pillow... the blanket i used wasn't my personal blanket. that mattress became my personal space out of the entire house. it was the only space i felt was safe and where i can build my privacy e.g. if i leave something there it won't disappear. but was i wrong... my so called "space" was generously cleaned. things that i place on the mattress were dispersed elsewhere in my sis' room or in another room of the house. things around my mattress were accidentally broken. =(

right now my room is close to 95% renovated and i have started to locate my belongings in different parts of the house and bring them inside a room which i can call it my own

perhaps i sometimes think too deeply into things... but i did feel homeless this past month and a bit
i'm thankful that i was temporarily "homeless"
thankful that my sis took me in and let me stay in her room all this time
thankful that i can retreive my belongings
thankful that i have a house to live in and my own space where i don't have to worry about things being lost
thankful for this experience... that gave me a new perspective on homelessness and how such a simple thing - space - can be taken for granted...

i haven't fathom the reality of being homeless... but i do hope that Toronto and other places can address this issue effectively and help people who are and are at risk to have a place where they can call home~